i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Come see our sink grown plant.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
