Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
