I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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