So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
