escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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