Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
