my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
