Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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