R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
