the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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