I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
