What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
How does it feel to date your dad?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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