My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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