I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
