I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
