I heard we made out
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
