so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
