I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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