he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
