Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
