I hope mine doesn't look like that
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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