My cat gives me a boner
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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