Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
