Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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