Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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