I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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