Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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