it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Best friends brother. Beat that.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
