she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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