I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
