Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
