If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
