Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
