Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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