im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
