i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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