We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
