oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
