You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
