Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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