Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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