Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
