I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
