Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
