And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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