The beer is more important than you right now.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
