if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
