I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
