Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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