is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
